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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?